Beginning With This One.

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January 28, 2014 by jeliwobble

Blogs are funny things. You write them passionately for a while and then, one day, you just can’t be bothered, or time has run out, or there are no interesting things to say about anything much. Then the next day you think, ‘Oh, I didn’t write my blog post yesterday, maybe I should forget about it until the next time it’s due’ in whatever schedule you’ve set for yourself. But, of course, that time rolls round and things haven’t changed much and then you find yourself, two months down the line, writing a meta-blog about how you don’t write your blog any more…

I think, for me, blogging has to be about passion. It has to be about wanting to have a platform to say things about the world in a longer form than the average Facebook status or bulletin board post or the dreaded 140 Twitter characters. And if there’s nothing to be passionate about in that moment when you sit in front of the screen, then there’s not much point in writing it down.

Life stole away from me my blog passion for a short while. I think this is a good thing, in general! November is a month of birthdays for us, with Son, Eldest, mine then Middlie. Throw in Thanksgiving and the various parties that happen at the beginning of December in celebration of the turning of the year and, of course, the run up to Christmas, during which we entertained a family friend and her children, and the busyness of life draws the energy out of my need to write.

Then the dark days of the early year are upon us. This is less of a good time for me. I have, since losing my thyroid, been a little more tempered by the lack of light and lack of outdoor time than I used to be. I wouldn’t call it *actual* Seasonal Affective Disorder, but there is a definite downturn in my ability to be my usual sunny, if prickly, self. My prickles get sharper, and my sun goes in. Hibernation would be preferable, than this half life torpor that I seem to be engaged in.

So, perhaps, it’s not passion I am needing, but the discipline of writing things down. The rota of things that you don’t actually much want to do as a stay-at-home-mother is long and rather dull. Adding one more thing to my to-do list, a thing that is really ‘just for me’ and might even result in bringing to the fore the things I seem to be lacking right now, doesn’t seem to be all that much extra effort.

So, I am sitting comfortably and I will begin.

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